Thoughts on School as a Mother

Yuck! Finals week starts today. Honestly, I am blogging right now mostly because I want to find any excuse to get out of finishing my classes and having to take exams. I know that sounds really stupid and I'm sure you're thinking, "Just finish them!"  But there is some invisible wall that erects itself at the end of every semester; and it always seems impossible to break through or climb over. Or at least it takes too much work to get over it. So, needless to say, here I am 'trying' to motivate myself to just get started finishing my classes. But while I am making excuses about why I am avoiding the inevitable painful end of the semester, I might as well blog about how schooling and motherhood is going right?

Here are my thoughts about going to school with a newborn as a first time Mom:

IT'S HARD; it's challenging for a lot of reasons. I want to clarify before I go on that I LOVE Hayden, and am so glad he is here. I LOVE being a mother. I would never change the fact that he is here, right here, right now. I just thought I would write about my feelings about going to school while having a child, and my experience thus far. I want to start this story with my labor (my five hour, got to a nine labor before my c-section). While I was in labor, I tried to convince Kyle to crack open the laptop so I could finish some tests that were due that day. I did get through a few, but everyone thought I was insane. But I have deadlines people! And surprisingly teachers aren't that flexible.

Sad, I know. But continuing through school, I have found it hard to jump out of bed to find a filthy house I can't keep up with and a stack of books with endless assignments to stay ahead of. But that isn't even the worst of it: the most difficult thing about it all is that I JUST want to be a Mom.

Enough of the schooling, boring reading, and assignments; I just want to cuddle up with my little kiddo. I want to play with him, and talk to him in high pitched baby voices (that I swore I would never do) to get him to smile at me. I don't like having to watch him kick around on the floor for hours while I have homework. Which, by the way, he is perfectly content doing. Most of all, though, is it drives me crazy that I am taking all these parenting classes. I don't want to learn about parenting from a book, I want to learn hands on.

I think that summarizes my feelings. I know that everyone who checks my blog is not in my situation, but from now on, I am going to recommend that no one do what I have done. Finish school first people! Get it done first! Do it so you can love JUST being a Mom. I know I look forward to April coming up, so that I can proudly just be a mom. An everyday, full time mom; but highly educated!

And yes, I have to finish off this post as usual with a photo of my little man. And maybe a video. Sorry, I just can't help myself:

Now I have no more excuses for putting off school... Sad. Well, wish me luck!

Christmas Tree

Long time no blog... I feel like I have a lot to catch up on. First off, our Christmas Tree is finally finished! We got our tree on Wednesday and brought it home in our traditional Ambrose manner; inside the car instead of on top!  After that, it took me a few days to trim it and put the lights on. Finally, today we put all the decorations on it. I love this time of year; and I feel like it couldn't get any better now that we have Hayden with us.

Here are some pictures of the finished product:

Our Finished Product

Hayden LOVES the tree

Favorite picture yet!!

This is my favorite time of the year by far. I love all traditions that revolve around this holiday; the music, the food, spending family time together... I even love the traditions that many seem to dislike including egg nog and mistletoe. I always feel like I can't get enough of it. I know this sounds quite childish, but sometimes I wish it was Christmas all year round. With that, I wish you all a Merry Christmas!

Hayden's Blessing

This past Sunday our little Hayden was finally blessed (at 5 weeks old). It was a spectacular day filled with lots of family. We had about twenty family members to come and support us and our little man. We had a little luncheon before our service to have everyone over and take some pictures. It was really relaxed and fun to catch up with my family.

Here are a few pictures of some of the group:

Four Generations on My Mother's side

Kyle's parents

Four Generations on my Dad's side

We were fortunate enough to have Kyle's parents in town to take part in the blessing and to visit with our little guy.

The blessing outfit that was originally given to us didn't fit. We could fit two of him in it! Good thing my mother in law and I checked a few days before the blessing... Because the next two days we spent the entire time looking for something appropriate for him to wear. All I can say about it is that I can't believe how few of a selection of sweaters and button ups there are circulating in the babies department. We hit Gymboree, Children's Place, Crazy 8, Carters, Burlington Baby Depot, Baby Gap, and that's not all the places we ended up going to! Here's the end result on the outfit:

Doesn't he look so handsome?!! It was such a great day. I wept my eyes out, Kyle did a fantastic job, and we were surrounded by people we love so much. We wish that our whole family could have been with us, but it will have to happen for our next little one.

Bath Time and Starting to Chunk up!

Hayden is beginning to LOVE bath time! Today, Hayden took his first bath with his Daddy. Truth is, it took me a while to convince Kyle to take a bath with Hayden. He was worried that Hayden would decide to go to the bathroom while in the tub.

Thank goodness Hayden didn't spring any kind of leak, because I know Kyle would not have been up for bathing him like this again; and I just love to watch these kinds of moments as a new Momma. Being there to witness bonding between my honey and our beautiful son. Here are just a few of the pictures that I took:

Here is our little Superman! Showing off his muscles to Mom. What a cutie! He is starting to get so BIG! I can't believe how fast he is changing and how quickly he is growing. Kyle and I have quickly noticed how much heavier he seems and how much he is filling out.     

Here are some additional pictures of our little peanut for Grandma and Grandpa Ambrose. We can't wait to see you in 10 days! We're counting down!

Hayden Arrived!

I know this is over two weeks late, but I finally have a breather and could sit down to blog about his birth.

Hayden Robert Ambrose was born October 10th at 8:18 P.M.
He was 7 pounds 4 ounces and 19 1/2 inches long

So about the delivery: October 10th was his due date, but our doctor had suggested not to induce but to have me go into labor on my own. Kyle, my mother in law, and I went in for the 40 week doctor's check up at 2:30 P.M. Everything was looking great, and I had been contracting irregularly and dilated to a two for the last two weeks. For one last check, our doctor wanted to see how much amniotic fluid was left around him. She checked it, and said she would probably send us home, but wanted to have me checked on a newer machine to be safe.

So we were walked into a delivery room in the hospital, where they proceeded to check my fluids. At this point (3:30 PM), we were told there was essentially no fluids around him, and that we were having this baby today. I was nervous and was not expecting to have this baby today. I was instantly admitted into the hospital and was put on the lowest dose of Pitocin to induce my labor. Short Version: I was dilated to a 6 within three hours, taken off Pitocin and given my epidural. At that point Hayden's heart dropped, and I was given some meds that would raise my heart rate and stop the contractions to try and raise his heart rate.

In another hour, I was at an eight, but his heart rate dropped again. It went from a 130 to 50 on the monitor. It was scary! This time, about seven people rushed into the room. I was asked to get on my forearms and knees to get him off his cord and raise his heart rate. It didn't work. I was asked to sign a consent form, and within a minute was rushed off in tears into the operating room.  I was injected on the short walk to the operating room with more medications so I could go into surgery. Kyle barely made it into the operating room, when seven minutes after being rolled into the O.R. Hayden was delivered. Here is our first family picture:

I was closed up ten minutes later. It was all a blur, but I remember all the scary and overwhelming emotions. In a matter of about six hours, I became a Mom. People keep saying that they were sorry that it happened the way that it happened; but you know what? I'm not. I'm grateful. I will always remember Kyle stroking my hair and holding my hand, and thinking that we (Hayden and I) were going to be okay only because he was there with me. I was glad it was just the two of us. It allowed me to become closer to him in a whole new way. I know Kyle was stressed beyond belief, and worried sick, but we had each other.


These days, Hayden is such a happy little baby! He is gaining weight quickly (about 1 1/2 pds per week) and has the cutest smile in the world. He LOVES to be held, and is awake and alert more as the days go on. At night, he sleeps in three hour stretches between each time I nurse, which is really great! I will add more pictures of him soon.

I know this post is really long, but I just have one more thing to say. I am the luckiest girl in the world, surrounded by the most fun, happy, and handsome boys. They are my world, and I love watching them together. Life cannot get any better. Today, I am grateful for eternal families, and the promise that if I live righteously I can have my family with me forever.

Nursery Completed!

I am proud to announce that five days before Hayden's due date we have FINALLY completed the nursery! I know, I know, insane right?!! At least that's what friends around us have insisted that we had better hurry up before he comes. It is officially my favorite room of the house. I remember walking into my mother's nurseries and the peace and quiet that existed in each one. I have found the same thing to be true in our nursery. I love the spirit that lingers in there. I can't wait to bring him home into it!

So maybe we are crazy for not having it completed it earlier; but I feel like I would have gone even more stir crazy if we had completed it earlier. I am already going nuts as it is! After going on long walks, going golfing, and etc. there has been no progress, I still am having irregular contractions. I can't get this baby to come out!

Now it is crunch time, because Kyle's Mom flies out on Sunday along with my older brother. Yikes!

I am still feeling good, despite the normal discomforts that women talk about (lack of sleep, multiple bathroom trips, etc.), but I really honestly can't complain. I feel like I have been blessed significantly for having such a smooth pregnancy. I'm not so sure Kyle feels the same way -having dealt with all the hormones, poor guy- but as far as sickness and energy goes, I have been super lucky. Hopefully all the rest of my pregnancies in the future will be the same.

The next post that I will put up will be of our little boy! Words cannot express how impatient we both are for our little guy to come. We both have to remind ourselves that good things come to those who wait. I will admit that it does help when you do have an end date in sight. Thank goodness for the induction date that has been set for a week after the due date (October 17th).

BLUE

Yes, finally here is a preview of the partially finished nursery!

Here are some of the before pictures of the nursery:





























Here are some from during Kyle's tedious painting process:






















Here is one of the finished paint project:

So, I know what you are thinking: "That room is VERY, VERY blue!"

Kyle commented that the color reminds him of Andy's room in Toy Story. I can't agree more. It is bright, but we love the cheeriness that it brings to our currently white walled house.

We are so excited for our little Hayden to make his appearance. Anytime now Hayden! I am now 36 weeks, and having contractions about three to four times a day. He's moving along!



Most importantly, thank you to my wonderful husband. You are going to be a fantastic father! I am so grateful for all your hard work and patience throughout this whole process. This includes dealing with me during this whole pregnancy, and my crazy shenanigans along the way.

I love you and appreciate all you do!

Our next nursery projects: Obtaining a dresser, repainting the Worlton family rocking chair (My grandmas rocking chair, and previously my mothers), and finishing the wall decor. We finally got all the rest of the baby necessities, so we are ready.

My next post will be some house pictures and (hopefully) a completed nursery!

Last Vacation before Baby!

Kyle and I went on vacation a few weeks ago (sorry, I am behind on posts as usual) to visit his parents, grandparents, brothers and sisters, and cute nieces and nephews.

Our trip started out when we flew into Los Angeles, to make a visit to Kyle's grandparents. We LOVED every second with these sweet people; both whom I quickly grew to love after we got married. This is the Grandpa Robert that we decided to name Hayden ROBERT after.


I LOVE this picture! That same day, we managed to hit the UCLA Hall of Fame, Getty Museum, and had a fun family dinner at Kyle's favorite Mexican restaurant El Torito. Yum!

The next day, we found ourselves out on Santa Monica Pier with the whole crew: Kyle's sister, her beautiful family, and some cousins. It was such a blast watching all the kiddos ride the rides, and to see the boys playing the boardwalk games. This is the only picture I have of us on the pier, and I look awful, but here we are!


The next day of our trip we decided to hit a round of golf- Kyle's grandparents (both in their upper 80's) walk all 18 and go almost every week! What troopers!

I can proudly announce that I played through all 18 holes of golf (with a cart)! It was such a blast. I am still golfing today (at almost 36 weeks), and all I can say is that this little guy ain't stopping me!

The next day, we sadly had to leave Grandpa and Grandma Ambrose. We love them so much and think of them often. Grandpa Ambrose is one of those men that you can't help but love. He always has a positive attitude, has nothing but kind things to say, and loves EVERYONE.

As we drove away in the car that day, I had a quiet confirmation that naming our son after him was the right thing. It was such a inexpressible feeling that I had, just thinking that Hayden was named after one of the best men I will ever know; and that he will hopefully be able to know that for himself one day.

When we got back to the Bay Area, we ended up spending the next couple of days with the rest of Kyle's family; Kyle's brother Scott, his wonderful wife Maren, and their kids. We love these guys. It was fun watching the boys dunk over each other on Scott's hoop in the backyard (Especially when Kyle kicked Scott in the neck... Haha! I swear, when these two are together, we could easily win America's funniest home videos).


Our last day in town, we drove down to Carmel to go to a car show. Kyle was like a kid in a candy store, with the Ford GT's, Ferrari's, and Lamborghini's. Carmel was beautiful, it was fun to see all the older classics, and the weather was awesome! I could not have asked for a better day. What a great way to end our trip.

I know that this was really summarized and short, but I am trying to catch up, and in the next couple of days you will get a blog on the nursery and how it is coming along (Kyle is currently painting! I am so excited to see the final product!)

I love Kyle's family, always have fun spending time with each member. I feel so fortunate to be so close to each of them, and that each time we go out to see Kyle's parents, we get to see everybody!

My boys

I am really, really bad at blogging. I am the worst ever, and I am working on it because I want to stay up to date so that all my family can see all the goings on in our lives. So, my new goal is to update this blog monthly from now on. You can all hold me to it and bother me when I don't (whoever actually checks this).

Here are some relatively new pictures of things that are going on at the Ambrose home:




This was me about two weeks ago, at 25 weeks.






This is Hayden (Yes, we've officially decided on Hayden) at 20 weeks.




About a week ago I had an experience that really touched my heart. It wasn't anything too spectacular, it was just one of those 'quiet' moments we get from time to time. I wanted to share it with you all.

Kyle and I had settled into the relaxation phase of our night by watching some T.V. Almost each night, Kyle puts his head in my lap and I run my fingers through Kyle's hair until he falls asleep.

Well, Kyle fell asleep in my lap as usual but for the first time I was able to see Hayden's kicks from outside my tummy. There I was; Kyle's face touching my huge tummy and baby Hayden saying 'hello' with his kicks. I watched silently for a few minutes, as the realization hit me that this was the first time that I had really stopped to think about the fact that I had both my boys with me. It could have been the hormones taking over, but I couldn't help the tears welling up in my eyes for my hubby and our little angel that we are being entrusted with very soon.

Today, I am grateful to a Heavenly Father that loves me enough to give me such beautiful blessings. I am not a mother yet, but I look forward to the many experiences that it will bring me, and all the other 'quiet' moments that will come.

Until next month!

Baby!

After over a year of having a blog and I feel like I can actually post about something exciting and worthwhile! I am new to the blogging world, so bare with me.

Kyle and I are due October 10th! We found out a little over a month ago when Kyle got home from a business trip. I thought I had the stomach flu, and had been spending time with my younger sister who had it. So naturally, the nauseousness was from the flu, right? NOT! I was just as surprised from the tests as he was.

So far pregnancy has been good. Just the normal stuff bothers me; eggs, raw meat, etc. My husband has been the best supporter that I could have ever imagined. Thank goodness for that!

This is me at 8 weeks. This is the before picture. Just a beginning of my 'bump'. That's wishful thinking.. I know it's just a lot of bloating.. Haha.