Thoughts on School as a Mother

Yuck! Finals week starts today. Honestly, I am blogging right now mostly because I want to find any excuse to get out of finishing my classes and having to take exams. I know that sounds really stupid and I'm sure you're thinking, "Just finish them!"  But there is some invisible wall that erects itself at the end of every semester; and it always seems impossible to break through or climb over. Or at least it takes too much work to get over it. So, needless to say, here I am 'trying' to motivate myself to just get started finishing my classes. But while I am making excuses about why I am avoiding the inevitable painful end of the semester, I might as well blog about how schooling and motherhood is going right?

Here are my thoughts about going to school with a newborn as a first time Mom:

IT'S HARD; it's challenging for a lot of reasons. I want to clarify before I go on that I LOVE Hayden, and am so glad he is here. I LOVE being a mother. I would never change the fact that he is here, right here, right now. I just thought I would write about my feelings about going to school while having a child, and my experience thus far. I want to start this story with my labor (my five hour, got to a nine labor before my c-section). While I was in labor, I tried to convince Kyle to crack open the laptop so I could finish some tests that were due that day. I did get through a few, but everyone thought I was insane. But I have deadlines people! And surprisingly teachers aren't that flexible.

Sad, I know. But continuing through school, I have found it hard to jump out of bed to find a filthy house I can't keep up with and a stack of books with endless assignments to stay ahead of. But that isn't even the worst of it: the most difficult thing about it all is that I JUST want to be a Mom.

Enough of the schooling, boring reading, and assignments; I just want to cuddle up with my little kiddo. I want to play with him, and talk to him in high pitched baby voices (that I swore I would never do) to get him to smile at me. I don't like having to watch him kick around on the floor for hours while I have homework. Which, by the way, he is perfectly content doing. Most of all, though, is it drives me crazy that I am taking all these parenting classes. I don't want to learn about parenting from a book, I want to learn hands on.

I think that summarizes my feelings. I know that everyone who checks my blog is not in my situation, but from now on, I am going to recommend that no one do what I have done. Finish school first people! Get it done first! Do it so you can love JUST being a Mom. I know I look forward to April coming up, so that I can proudly just be a mom. An everyday, full time mom; but highly educated!

And yes, I have to finish off this post as usual with a photo of my little man. And maybe a video. Sorry, I just can't help myself:

Now I have no more excuses for putting off school... Sad. Well, wish me luck!